Don’t ignore these red flags : preventing financial abuse
It’s not always easy to tell if you are in an unhealthy relationship.
People often associate abuse with physical and emotional violence, but financial abuse can be just as damaging.
This type of abuse is a form of power and control that can leave you feeling helpless, scared, and trapped. Unfortunately, it goes unrecognised far too often. That’s why it’s important to recognize the signs of financial abuse as early as possible so that you can take action and protect yourself.
It only occurred to me in late 2022 that I was being financially abused and it absolutely floored me.
How could I, someone who was passionate about financial freedom for women, someone who is a smart and savvy business woman , be the victim of financial abuse?!
This blog means more to me than the red flags listed below; because if someone had told me that I was being financially abused, I would have laughed in their face.
Without further ado, please take the time to read these red flags and really sink into what it means for you. It’s okay to admit that these things may be happening to you, you do not need to be ashamed about this or feel like you are a failure.
Are You in Control of Your Finances?
One of the main signs of financial abuse is that your partner has taken control of your finances without permission or by manipulating you into giving them access —meaning they are the only one with access to bank accounts, credit cards, and other financial resources. In addition to controlling the money flow, your partner may also be making all the decisions about how money is spent without consulting or involving you.
This can lead to:
You working away without a penny to your name;
Your partner taking out debt under your name without your knowledge;
Your partner gambling away and you being left with nothing.
Do You Feel Pressured to Spend Money?
Another sign of financial abuse is when your partner pressures or bullies you into spending money on them or their interests against your will. This could involve buying them expensive gifts or taking them out to dinner even when you don’t have the means to do so.
This pressure could also be in the form of paying off their past debts (before you were together) or asking you to take out debt for them (to purchase something they can not afford themselves).
Be aware if your partner tries to guilt trip or manipulate you into spending money that you don’t want—or need—to spend.
As women, we tend to want to look after everyone, it is why communities thrive when money is in the hands of women. But know that you do not have to spend your money on other people. It is your hard earned dollar and you do not have to share it around if you do not feel called to.
Are Your Assets Being Taken Away From You?
If someone threatens to or tries to take away any assets that belong solely to you—such as property, jewellery, cars, etc.—without consent or a formal court order, then this is considered illegal and falls under the category of financial abuse. This type of behaviour not only violates your rights but can have long-term consequences for your personal finances and your future.
Proving Your Self Worth
In some instances, you may be called to prove why something should be kept as yours and not the other persons. You may feel as though you have to prove why and how things are yours. Or you may be manipulated into giving things away because of a great debate they have conjured up. This is when the master manipulator swoops in and makes you feel less then. You then are in the cycle of having to prove yourself and why you deserve anything. You end up giving more and more, and it is never good enough.
No one should ever feel unsafe or powerless when it comes to managing their own finances, especially within a relationship setting. It's important to recognize the warning signs early on so that appropriate action can be taken before any further damage is done.
Keep an eye out for these red flags and remember that there are resources available if things get out of hand!
By identifying potential signs of financial abuse early on, we can help ensure our safety and well-being moving forward.
Take care my love, you matter and so does your money!
Coco x
As an advocate for women's empowerment, I am passionate about making sure all ladies are aware of the signs to look out for so they don't experience what I have gone through in my own life - being financially abused without realising it until far too late. Here are five key indicators you may be in denial – and ultimately stuck – with this form of emotional distress:
Financial abuse is a serious form of emotional violence that often goes undetected - and women can be particularly at risk due to gender inequality. If you’re concerned about your own situation, here are five telltale signs of financial abuse. I know firsthand how damaging it can be; for over 17 years, I was in denial until finally admitting the truth to myself!
Financial abuse is a heartbreaking reality for so many women, and unfortunately it's much more common than most of us like to admit.
This insidious form of control creates an imbalance in relationships by preventing access to financial assets or relief from debt obligations and can leave victims feeling trapped in their circumstances. But you don't have to be a victim; recognizing the warning signs early on makes it possible to take preventive action before things escalate any further. In this blog post we'll provide insight into what financial abuse looks like, discuss how to spot the red flags, and suggest some practical steps for those who may be at risk.
