4 signs you’re in denial about being financially abused
Financial abuse is a serious form of emotional abuse that can often go unnoticed. It occurs when one partner controls the money and resources in a relationship, leaving the other partner without access to funds or without a say in how it is being managed.
Financial abuse affects people of all genders, but women are more likely to experience it due to gender inequality and lack of financial literacy. If you’re wondering if you’re in a financially abusive relationship, here are some signs to look out for.
If this sounds all too familiar (or maybe it doesn’t), then here's 5 signs for what to look out for: I know from personal experience how damaging and insidious financial abuse can be; after 17 years only recently did I realise something was off so don't wait like me!
4 Signs of Financial Abuse
Withholding Money: One of the most common signs of financial abuse is when one partner withholds money from the other. This could take the form of refusing to give their partner access to bank accounts or credit cards, or denying them any spending money whatsoever even if they have an income. It could also mean preventing them from getting a job or seeking opportunities for advancement at work; this type of manipulation prevents them from becoming financially independent and can leave them completely reliant on their abuser.
Getting into Debt: Another sign to look out for is when one partner pressures the other into making decisions they don’t feel comfortable with financially. For example, pressuring someone into taking out loans they don’t need or investing in risky ventures that may not pay off, all while controlling the finances so that their partner has no say in how it’s done. In cases like these, it’s important to look at patterns over time; has your partner always been this way with finances? Or do certain situations seem to trigger their need for control? If it's always been this way, then chances are you're facing financial abuse and should seek help immediately.
Coercion and manipulation: is another sign of financial abuse. This is done through a power of imbalance where you are continually reminded how much you owe them, what they have done for you and allowing / expecting you to pay for everything (bills, meals, groceries etc…). This could also take the form of threats that you will be nothing without them resulting in you needing them otherwise you will be homeless with no money. keep an eye out for any signs of verbal manipulation when it comes to money; phrases such as “you owe me this much” or “I thought I was doing this for us” can be used by abusers as a way to manipulate their partners into giving up control over their finances.
Influencing your life: where you work, getting close with your boss / colleagues / friends and controlling the way things occur for you at work and in your friendships. This ensures that you remain reliant on them in life, as their behaviour will cease opportunities you receive and friendships you make.
No one deserves to be financially abused—it's an incredibly damaging form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects on its victims' psychological wellbeing and economic stability. That's why it's so important for women (and anyone else who might find themselves in this situation) to be aware of the signs so they can recognize them early on and get out before things escalate further down the line.
I am hell bent on making sure that women understand what it feels and looks like to be financially abused, because I know firsthand how damaging it can be; for over 17 years, I was in denial until finally admitting the truth to myself - I was a victim of financial abuse. It is a destructive force that can sadly go unnoticed.
What I could have done differently if I had given myself permission to see this abuse! I have no regrets but it’s definitely something I ponder on for you and I. Let's all make sure we look out for each other and recognize those red flags before they ensnare us too deeply.
Coco x
